The Return

And so it has finally happened. Nathan is finally getting back into his writing, and as such will be posting on here whenever he remembers from now on.
Keep your eyes peeled for my wordings of words with sentence structure.

Un-named

Just a little something I wrote last night, I didn’t even pay attention til it was ended. A close friend said it was really good, so I thought I’d post it up here.

 

He hides a tormented soul behind clear blue eyes.
His appearance is a shield, fending off the world.
He searches, trying to find himself.
Despairing of ever being accepted, of making anything of his life.
He cries now, a lone tear trailing across his cheek.
Inside, a waterfall drops from his eyes.
His heart rends in two.
The black thoughts dominate, his mind a hole for light.
Like a broken record, he follows the same twisted patterns over and over.

This Broken Heart – Something Corporate

You woke up, in pieces
From making, these changes
And holding me ransom, won’t write you an anthem
On the outside, I’m trying, ’cause inside, I’m dying

This broken heart was stronger than
Now I can’t stand to part with this
This broken heart

You took me for granted
Now I’ve changed, you haven’t
It won’t be so easy to sell me this feeling

This broken heart was stronger than
The words I wish you never meant
This broken heart

Can’t make this right, you see on my face,
That I’m not gonna be alright, not tonight,
You can read all my letters, but that won’t mean things are fine,
Not this time, ’cause you gave away all the secrets of you and I

This broken heart was stronger than
Now I can’t stand to part with this
This broken heart was stronger than
The words I wish you never meant
This broken heart

Work In Progress II

The rain was pouring now; drenching her clothes and plastering her hair to her face. Her cold, blue eyes glared out from behind dripping curls. “You bastard,” she whispered, venom dripping from every syllable. “You complete, total and utter bastard!”

“I’m sorry!” he shouted, fists clenched at his sides. “I never meant for it to happen!” He gazed into her eyes, pleading silently for her to believe him. She stared back in silence, waiting for his next excuse. “I didn’t mean to kiss her… We were drinking, and I went to kiss her cheek, but she turned, and… Well… One thing led to another. You understand, don’t you?” He looked hopeful, his dark brown eyes giving off that sad puppy dog look. It was pathetic.

 “Oh, of course I understand baby boy, it was just a drunken mistake,” she said cheerfully, each word drowning in sarcasm. “Just a silly mistake. It’s alright, I forgive you”. She took a step forward, nervously rubbing her left hand over her opposite arm, looking down at her feet. He stepped forward with a shaky laugh, and wrapped an arm around her. “I love you babe,” he whispered, a finger beneath her chin lifting her gaze to his angelic face. “Always have, always will”. He bent down, his questing lips finding hers. Softly at first, but quickly getting harder, crushing their lips together, his tongue seeking entrance to her mouth.

 She pressed her body against his, her arms reaching up to encircle his neck. She parted her lips and welcomed his tongue in, meeting hers and beginning the dance of lovers. His hand drifted down from her chin, fingers trailing across her neck, down to the top of her shirt. He hesitated for a split second, and then his cold fingers were beneath her bra, searching needfully for her nipple. They found it, and trapping it between them, began squeezing gently, the pressure causing her to moan into his mouth.

 One of her hands dropped from his neck, a finger trailing sensually over his hardened stomach, down to the object of her desire. She enclosed it in her hand, and began gently manipulating him through his jeans, causing him to moan into her mouth in return. Dropping to her knees, she pulled his fly down with her teeth, her fingers scrabbling to undo the button. He sprang forth in all his erect glory as his pants fell around his ankles. He watched through lust-glazed eyes as she leant forward and kissed his tip, her hand creeping up between his thighs to cup his testicles. “That’s it babe, suck it,” he panted, his heart beating madly in expectation.

 She squeezed suddenly, crushing his tender orbs mercilessly between her numb fingers. He screamed, a high-pitched, almost strangled sound, and collapsed in the mud unconscious. She stood above him and gazed down upon his prone body. “Fucking cheating cunt,” she spat. “’Just a drunken mistake.’ What do you take me for? I’ve seen the way you looked at her.”

Silenced Angel – 2nd Draft

In the maelstrom of his mind, the memories played again, flickering like an old film projector. He watched, a stranger to his own memory, through his own eyes as he lifted her fragile, sleeping form. The tears started flowing, slowly trickling through the sparse hairs on his unshaven cheeks. His eyes, their grey pupils almost lost behind red veins, darted ceaselessly about, probing every nook and cranny. He again felt his cheeks twisted into that detached, emotionless smirk as his coarse, large hands encircled her throat. His hands tightened, crushing the life from her innocent form.

A primal scream ripped from him as he began writhing and beating his fists against the floor. “NOT AGAIN! WHY WON’T IT STOP!?” The floor was covered with dried bloodstains, showing where this had happened to him before. His fists started bleeding, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t. Not now. Again, he was plunged back into the slowly playing reel of his memory.

He dropped her limp form back onto the bed, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Her eyes fluttered behind their lids. He turned, his foot brushing aside a small doll, his hands fumbling for the light switch. His fingers found it, traced its cold, hard outline, and snapped it. Warm light, tinged purple from her lampshade, flooded the room, bringing a sense of unreality to it all. His eyes took in the scene before him. Pink curtains, with a montage of unicorns in various colours, hid the window. Small tops and skirts lay strewn across the mottled brown carpet. A small, white bookcase sat at the end of the bed, covers proudly displaying titles such as ‘My Little Pony’ and ‘Black Beauty’. A toy box, its lid open, was sitting along the wall to the left, tutu’s and plush toys spilling from within.

In front of him, beneath the curtained window, she lay prone across her bed. The purple doona, with its embroided love hearts, lay tangled at the end of the bed, where he had thrown it. Her pillow, in its green cover slip, lay on the floor. Her small form lay in a yellow nightie, her breathing shifting the front of it fractionally.

With her luxurious, long, soft brown hair, her long lashes framing bright blue eyes, a small button nose, a smattering of freckles across her cheeks and her pink, perfectly proportioned lips, she really was a beautiful child. And would have made a gorgeous woman. His heartbeat was pounding in his ears. It was now or never; else he may never find peace from the voices.

He slept now, twitching occasionally as the memory continued its relentless march behind his lids. His mouth hung open, blood dripping out from his bitten tongue. His fists, beaten into a pulpy mess, rested against his chest, the blood slowly seeping into his once fine shirt. His hair, a mass of knots and tangles, hung over one side of his face. His face didn’t seem the face of a madman, or a murderer.

He spun, picking up the knife from where he had left it, embedded in the doorframe. Giggling to himself, he advanced on her slowly. Grabbing her doona, he quickly cut it into small strips, coughing as the fine threads in the air caught in his throat. He grabbed her, quickly rearranging her, tying her wrists and ankles to the bedposts, securing her. She came to, with a start, whimpering. She began screaming and crying when her wrists and ankles refused to move at her command. “Please don’t do this to me! My daddy wouldn’t let you! Please, don’t hurt me!” Snarling, he slapped her with as much force as he could, splitting her bottom lip. Blood trickled down her chin, staining the nightie red. She stopped her piteous sobbing, her entire body tensing up. Her eyes lost their spark of fear, lost all semblance of human eyes. She looked paralysed, a little corpse.

He grabbed her nightie and slit it, cutting it from her body, exposing her to his eyes. But that wasn’t his intent. He pressed the tip of blade into the dip on her wrist, drawing a speck of blood. Pausing, he licked his lips nervously, and pushed. The speck became a trickle, and rapidly grew to a steady flow. Her back arched, and her mouth opened in a soundless scream of agony. Slowly, he drew the knife up her arm, parting her flesh to her shoulder. The blood was flowing copiously now, staining her cream bed sheet a dull crimson. Sitting the knife aside, he reached into the incision, worked his fingers underneath the flesh, and pulled, ripping her skin open. He could just make out the bone in her arm through the blood.

She fell limp, consciousness fleeing from the pain. He watched impassively as the blood continued to pump from her severed arteries and ripped tendons. Picking up the blade again, he gently probed about her throat, locating her vocal chords. With a quick jab, he severed them, silencing the little angel forever. No longer would her sweet voice claw at his ears as he killed her. He moved to her unblemished arm, and began his work in earnest. Instead of the lengthways cut from wrist to shoulder, he hacked quickly, across her arm, opening up hundreds of shallow but, profusely bleeding cuts.

He bent, and ran his tongue across them, savouring the coppery taste of her warm life fluids. He didn’t have much time; she would expire from blood loss before long. He forced open her mouth with a finger, worming it inside. He slid a second in, and trapped her tongue between them. Drawing it out, he wrapped his lips around it, and worked it into his mouth. Once he was happy with its position, he bit down, severing her tongue. Her blood sprayed into his mouth, warm and sweet. He drew back, chewing softly on the morsel in his mouth. Oh, but she was a sight to see. One arm ripped open to expose the bone, the other lacerated beyond recognition, and a waterfall of blood staining her front, pouring from within her mutilated mouth.

Taking up the knife once more, he cut a pair of Vs into her chest, one for each side of her breastbone. Flicking the points up under his knife, he tossed it aside, grabbing them and tearing upwards. They came free in his hands, leaving two large V cuts in her, exposing her lungs to his view. She wouldn’t last much longer, she had lost far too much blood, and her organs were now being exposed to his hungry eyes.

The door opened slowly, soundless on its oiled hinges. Two of the hospital’s employees walked in, and stood over his prone form, looking down at him, with pity in their eyes. “Look at this depraved bastard, sleeping like a baby.”

“Yeah… He shouldn’t be allowed to live after what he did..” replied the other, smaller man. He unconsciously rubbed his hands together, looking nervous. “I’ll do it Mack; you go turn the camera off for a moment.”

Mack left the room, the door swinging shut behind him. Ryan stood over him, shaking his head. “You’ve had this coming a while, you depraved fucker.” Opening the pouch affixed to his waist, he drew out a hypodermic needle, and a small bottle of chlorine. Filling the needle, he glanced up and waited for the light on the camera to stop blinking. At last, it did. “Took your time, didn’t ya Mack,” he muttered. Bending down, he jabbed the needle into the mans arm, flooding his veins with the poisonous substance. “Be seeing ya,” he murmured, walking out and swinging the door closed behind him.

He writhed, as the poisonous substance stole through his veins, burning, killing off the organs it caressed in its fiery embrace. His mind raced feverishly, still unconscious, as the memory began to flicker.

He leant forward, the knife tip wobbling slightly as he directed it towards her eye. Lifting the bottom lid, he slid the blade in, and then jerked upward and out rapidly, severing the optical nerve and pulling her bright, blue eye from its socket. She took a huge breath, in order to let out a scream that never came. She expired beneath him, just like that, her chest falling and failing to rise.

He stared down at his handiwork, feeling proud of what he had accomplished. Absently, he lifted the eye to his mouth, slipped it in, and began chewing. Sliding down the wall, he leaned against it at the junction between it and the floor, his eyes never leaving the sight before him. His daughter, his beautiful little girl, slain like a pig in a slaughterhouse. It was beautiful.

He twitched twice more, his hands clenching and unclenching. His back arched, and a gurgling scream escaped him. Finally, he fell back, completely still, his face twisted in the same sick and depraved smile he had as he brutally murdered his only child.

So… Awesomeness.

This is going to be one busy month for me. I have a concert to go to on the 9th (Behind Crimson Eyes @ The Brisbane Hotel), an 18th the next Saturday (16th), another concert on the 22nd (Lord, supported by MSI @ The Brisbane Hotel) and then an 18th the day after, on the 23rd.

So yes. This means I may not post something for a while. If I remember, I’ll post a character profile or two from my novel when I get home.

Enjoy.

Update-a-mundo

I’ll get around to posting something of worth, rather than just song lyrics soon, I promise. Just a bit busy currently with school/sports etc. In the meantime, enjoy all my “songs-of-the-moment”.

Ohio is for Lovers – Hawthorne Heights

Hey there
I know it’s hard to feel like I don’t care at all
Where you are and how you feel
With these lights off as these wheels
Keep rolling on and on
(And on and on and on)
Slow things down or speed them up
Not enough or way too much
(And on and on and on)
How are you when I’m gone?

And I can’t make it on my own
(And I can’t make it on my own)
Because my heart is in Ohio

So cut my wrists and black my eyes
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die
Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well
You like it too, and I can tell
You’ll never stop until my final breath is gone

Spare me just three last words
“I love you” is all she heard
I’ll wait for you, but I can’t wait forever

Spare me just three last words
“I love you” is all she heard
I’ll wait for you, but I can’t wait forever

And I can’t make it on my own
(And I can’t make it on my own)
Because my heart is in Ohio

So cut my wrists and black my eyes
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die
Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well
You like it too, and I can tell
You’ll never stop until my final breath is gone

You(you) know you do, you kill me well (kill)
You like it too, and I can tell (me)
You’ll never stop until my (well)final breath is gone

So cut my wrists(you) and black my eyes (kill)
My final breath is gone(me)
So I can fall asleep tonight (well)
And I can’t make it on my own
(And I can’t make it on my own)
Because my heart is in Ohio

So cut my wrists and black my eyes (cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die
Because you kill me
You know you do you kill me well
You like it to and I can tell
You’ll never stop until my final breath is gone

You know you do you kill me well
You like it to and I can tell
You’ll never stop until my final breath is gone

The Outsider – A Perfect Circle

Help me if you can
It’s just that this, this is not the way I’m wired
So could you please,

Help me understand why
You’ve given in to all these
Reckless dark desires

You’re lying to yourself again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the fault line
What’ll it take to get it through to you precious?
Over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess. I don’t want to watch you.

Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time
What’s your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

Medicated, drama queen,
Picture perfect, numb belligerence
Narcissistic, drama queen,
Craving fame and all its decadence

Lying through your teeth again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the fault line
What’ll it take to get it through to you precious?
Go with this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, I don’t wanna watch you…

Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time
What’s your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

They were right about you
They were right about you

Lying to my face again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the fault line
What’ll it take to get it through to you precious?
Over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, come to this, come to this

Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time
What’s your hurry, everyone will have his day to die
If you choose to pull the trigger, should your drama prove sincere,
Do it somewhere far away from here

My Opinion on Blogging

It’s interesting. It’s like MySpace but without all the annoying add requests, and pictures, and stupid little posts. So I guess it’s not really like MySpace at all. Hmm. In its self, it’s a nice change to the usual sites out there, and it’s nice getting to post my view out there for the world to see. Although, I don’t much like how the Dashboard works, it’s confusing at times and not very well set out. Plus there’s the fact that half the buttons won’t work in Internet Explorer (Damn you College for making us use it), and then there’s the fact that half the time it doesn’t like the gaps I put between paragraphs and chooses to kindly remove them against my will.

But yeah. Apart from those, I actually really like getting to post my work for friends to see, and to in turn read theirs. The community of bloggers is actually pretty interesting too, it’s a learning experience indeed to link-hop from one uknown blog to another, reading through all the different styles. I wonder what my style is; I’ll need to ask someone to do a review of my blog and tell me, so as to get an unbiased opinion.